#1 - Our Wedding Day

After an awkward beginning in the summer of 1988, a year of doing the long-distance relationship thing (before Skype), and a year of being engaged and apart, we had finally arrived at THE BIG DAY! Hundreds of friends, tons of family from near and far, and you and me made it a whirlwind of excitement.

In spite of all the details and all the crowds, I truly remember being of single-minded focus upon you. All that mattered was that Jenifer was soon to be my wife. It was a day I had looked forward to for so very long.

In spite of the basketball goals in the "gymatorium," the rip in your dress, and the wedding video with no audio, it was a wonderful day.

We were so very young. We were probably pretty clueless about what we were getting ourselves into. But we were certainly in love. And we were confident that God had good things in store for us.

I can remember changing clothes and standing in the hallway, talking to your dad and a video camera, getting ready to run out into the rice shower and our car. It has all been an absolute blur of excitement. But I knew that I was leaving that church in that red Mazda with the girl of my dreams. And she was now my wife. I remember thinking: "Life could not get any better than this moment right now."

#2 - Our Honeymoon

You have said on numerous occasions that, as a 21 year old young woman, you weren't sure that your 22 year old husband was qualified to take care of you as well as your father did. Well I think our week in Northern California proved you wrong.

My memories are filled with nothing but good things...even in the logistical details. The rental car was cute, the hotels were nice, and I didn't get us lost once (unless you count the times that we couldn't find an on-ramp because the earthquake damage hadn't been repaired yet). Even when we were a bit directionless, we had a ball exploring San Fransisco. I can't think of another city I would rather get lost in.

Our Honeymoon is definitely a highlight because it was the first time that we were completely on our own together. The adventurous part of the trip gave me a sense that we can do this...we can function as a couple together...and have a great time doing it.

#3 - Sharing A Home Together

From our cute little apartment to our dumpy little rent house, making a home with you was a tremendous memory in those early days. It was such a thrill to move from more than 20 years of living with our parents to finally having space just for us.



I remember loving the Beach Boys' song "Wouldn't It Be Nice," because all it talks about is two kids in love looking forward to the day when they could share a home and a bed and a life together. And settling down with you in Cleveland, TX (which, growing up, I never thought I would do), was a huge milestone in life.



Coming home for lunch, watching TV together, enjoying simple meals, fighting over the sink, and all the other fun details of sharing space became the new normal for us very quickly. And I loved every single minute of it. I can't believe that we have been doing it for twenty years already!

#4 - Celebrating Intimacy

From the exciting early days of our marriage to today, it has been a joy to share the marriage bed with you. I praise God often for dreaming up this incredibly unique way that He designed couples to connect with one another. And I pinch myself that I get to experience it with the woman I love.



"I get the joy of re-discovering you..." is a line from an 80's era cheesy rock ballad. But I get it. I am amazed that intimacy never gets old, never gets boring. Every time we are together, I am stunned that it is always new. You are a generous, passionate, and sensitive lover to me, and for that I am truly grateful.



While this is simply one of the 20 highlights of the past 20 years, I am so glad that it could easily classify as thousands of highlights of the past 20 years.



*This blog is not for my kids. But, if any of my kids are reading this, you have my permission to go throw up now.

#5 - Being Pregnant for the First Time

While each of our kids are a unique blessing in their own right, the EXPERIENCE of being pregnant for the first time was an incredible memory for me.

One of the strongest memories I have of the past twenty years is spending the night in Covington, Lousianna on the way to Disney with your family. It was the first time the both of us felt a tiny little "flutter" in your belly. It moved me beyond words. The memory of it still does.

Watching you grow and change with every one of our pregnancies was an absolute thrill. You were so absolutely beautiful as a pregnant woman. Knowing that you were sharing your body with our babies and getting them ready for the world was an intoxicating phenomenon.

#6 - Lindsey Beth

Lindsey, our first little experiment. Our guinea pig. The one that we probably made the most mistakes with.

When I see her now as a young woman going to college, I certainly recognize her as a significant highlight in our married life. To think that, somehow, we were a part of creating and raising and launching that person into the world just floors me.

It was so much fun to figure out how to raise her together. It was a grand experiment in trial and error, but it sure was character-building in both of us; and in our marriage.

I see all the good things that are in her as simple by-products of the good things that she has seen in you over the years. If she turns out even a little bit like her mother, then that will be a very good thing.

I pray she has also seen us do marriage in a way that she wants to model someday. Obviously, we have not been perfect, but hopefully she has gleaned a few good examples and insights from us along the way.

#7 - Our First Home

I almost feel like those months in my parents' house was like labor pains with an epidural. It was a challenge, but it was pretty painless...and certainly worth it. If I haven't said "thank you" for being willing to live at your in-laws house to save money while your first home was being built, then let me say it retro-actively: "THANK YOU!"



You have showed time and time again that you are willing to sacrifice and "make do" with less so that we can have the life of ministry we have chosen.



But back to the house: We got to pick it out, design it, decorate it....everything. You were like a kid in a candy shop. Being pretty poor, I still remember that first mortgage as a huge undertaking. I guess it was pretty small compared to life now in 2010.



It was so cool having our very own space. Building the deck, laying the sod, hanging Christmas lights, planting flowers, doing decorative stuff...all of it fills my early memories of life with you. Your ability to create a home that has always been comfortable and warm for me has been treasured gift. I am amazed at your gift for making something Pottery Barn nice on a Wal-Mart budget. Thank you for doing that in every home we have ever shared!

#8 - Landon Barrett

You came from a world of girls. You married a non-sports watching or deer-shooting husband. With Lindsey, you had become accustomed to bows and dolls and sweet girl stuff.

And then came Landon.

He is all boy. He loves to play, climb, wrestle, shoot, fish, and float. He came into our world as a 9 pound force to be reckoned with and his testosterone-filled heart hasn't let up since.

As a 100% girly-girl, you have adjusted and accommodated this young man into your life with grace and beauty. But the way you have tried to connect with him and try to get into his world over the years has been a thing of beauty. So, while simply having a son like Landon has been a Highlight, raising him and trying to prepare him for life has been a thrill. And I am glad that I have you to share it with.

I don't know exactly what God has in store for that young man of ours, but I can't wait to see what it is! And the fact that he is our son makes me honored to know that we will be a part of it.

#9 - Short and Sweet Weekends Away

Thank you, God for Priceline!

One key think that I have loved over the past twenty years is our simple little get aways. These brief two or three day outings have helped us to re-focus on each other and remember why we got married in the first place.

Memories flood my mind of the Inn at Salado, a few jaunts to the Hill Country, various Bed and Breakfasts scattered through Texas and Louisiana, and tons of nice downtown hotel rooms in Houston, Dallas, and Atlanta. We have had simple, non-eventful times in these places that were free of the busyness of life. And the fact that they are generally non-eventful makes them big events for our marriage. They have forced us to slow down and focus on each other.

I love getting away with you! I look forward to the rest of our lives being filled with many more short and sweet adventures together.

#10 - Emilie Ann

What a blessing our sweet little redhead has been to us! I absolutely would not want to live in a world without an Emilie in it. She has brought so much joy and life and color to our world!


I suppose that when your kids are exactly like you, it is very easy to produce "cookie cutter" versions of yourself. Parents like this can probably parent on auto-pilot, living their lives again through their children. But when the kids are different, it requires the parent to depend even more so on God. It reminds us that they are God's kids more than they are your kids.


I'm so glad that Emilie is ours, but I know that she is first and foremost God's. Her gifts and creativity reflect the nature of our Creator in ways that I cannot begin to fathom. More so than any of our children, I feel that Emilie will surprise us the most with how God uses her life to honor Himself.



Having her and raising her has been a huge Highlight of our twenty years together.

#11 - Learning to Truly Love Each Other Unconditionally

If someone would have asked me to score my love for you on a scale of 1 to 10 on our wedding day, I'm certain I would have said "eleven." That's the proper answer for a groom.



But I had no idea what the heck I was talking about. Certainly, I loved you. But I didn't have a clue what true, mature, unconditional love looked like. Perhaps I still don't. But I think we have learned over the years a little bit about loving unconditionally.



I feel that we are eternally blessed that God has somehow grown this in us: the commitment and faithfulness to endure through difficult times with unconditional love. I know that there have been times when you didn't like me very much. Likewise, I can think of (brief...very brief) seasons when you weren't all that lovable. Yet, we have chosen to endure those times with Christ-like unconditional love. And that has helped our marriage to flourish.



And it has made those times even more rare. The security that I have felt through your Agape-flavored love has given me room to grow as a husband. I hope you have experienced this through my love for you, too.



I often wonder what I will know of "love" in twenty more years. Will I look back on this stage of life (as I look back on our wedding day now) and think "I didn't have a clue what true love is." Perhaps. And if that's the case, I can't wait to see how God will grow this in us. Because it's pretty incredible as it is.

#12 - Coming to Trust in God's Economy

This isn't a one-time highlight...more of an ongoing process. But I feel that it has defined us as a couple and marked our faith journey, as well.



I will never forget the time that you reminded me that you were counting on God to provide for our needs, not me. You gave me permission to seek Him fully and not worry about the day-to-day obligations of paying our bills. That was a significant milestone in my trust in God and in our trust in God's economy.



I cannot count the number of times that God has provided for us in a special, fun, and mind-blowing way. It is a clear, 20 year testimony of the eternal truth of "seek ye first the Kingdom of God..."



Bills getting paid. Free vacation homes. Vehicles in a time of need. Lasik surgery. Scholarships to camps and events. The list goes on and on. God has taken care of us, nay, lavished us freely with many blessings. Some of my fondest memories are in those moments when God chose to use someone to bless us somehow.



As you have said before, we are the richest poor people. And that is so true. I love sharing this blessed life with you!

#13 - Fully Making the Transition to Adulthood

I'm not sure when it happened, but there was a time in our lives when I feel like we truly became adults. Perhaps having a bunch of kids was a part of it. Maybe moving a few hundred miles from our parents to DFW sealed the deal. I'm not sure.



I just know that there was a clear transition when I finally realized that we were adults. And the wonderful thing was that we were adults together.



I still sometimes feel like I don't have a clue what I am doing as a grown up. I still identify "real adults" that I want to be like when I am older. However, perhaps that is the very thing that confirms this the most for me: there are a bunch of young couples out there that look at us and who (for whatever reason) want to be like US when THEY grow up.



So you and I have officially moved into the "examples" category. We are the ones that people are looking to. But I love this. I love the fact that people see something in us that they want to emulate. We have allowed God to build something in us that is attractive to people. Obviously, they don't see all the ugly parts like we do. But our tendency is to focus on those ugly parts and forget that there are some pretty terrific things in our lives.



A highlight of my married life to you is that we get to be grown-ups together. And we get to do it for a long time.

#14 - Drew Preston

Through 20 years of marriage, I feel like welcoming Drew into our lives was one of our most significant leaps of faith. You remember...we were finished having kids. We couldn't afford any more. Our house was too small. We had them, now let's raise them.

Looking back now from where God has changed our hearts, it all seems so silly. But that's where we were. All it took was a few powerful messages from Giglio and Piper for the Spirit to begin to stir in us how limited our thinking was.

Our little caboose has been the classic last born. He is the best with hugs, with kind words, and with making us all laugh. His jokes may not always be funny, but he sure does try hard.

He truly has been a Highlight in the past twenty years of married life. It's hard to believe that he has been with us for half of those! We are truly blessed to have him to bring such pronounced joy to the difficult and sad moments of our lives.

#15 - Getting To Watch God use You in Ministry

For all those years you faithfully and quietly served as an effective "minister's wife," I want to say thank you. Your simple ministry to me and to our family has born incredible and lasting fruit both in our home and in the churches we have served.

But one of the special thrills of my life has been seeing God use you in unique ministries that were perfect for you. Ones that didn't have anything to do with me.

I got to watch you disciple untold numbers of women in Colleyville and here at Johnson Ferry. I have seen God drop a ministry to young single moms in your lap and have watched you run with it like a pro. I have seen you passionately pour your life and the life of Christ into so many girls in the church and in the public schools. I've even seen you go from a woman with paralyzing stage fright to an incredibly effective public speaker.

This has been a huge highlight of our married life. I think because I have been able to watch you grow and mature as a woman of God and become more available and useful for Him. I'm certain that God has been pleased with your obedience and faithfulness. And, for whatever reason, that has made you more attractive to me.

You truly are my righteous babe. And I am so glad I get to be your husband!

#16 - Seeing the World Together

Okay, so maybe we haven't seen the world together, but it sure feels like it.

Over the past twenty years, traveling with you has certainly been a highlight. Whether it be trips for fun or trips to serve, doing it with you makes all of it so much sweeter.

Trips to Europe to see Julie or the Monsiavaiz were wonderful memories.

Our big adventure to Botswana was life-changing. What a neat people and place.

Playa del Carmen (how did we find that place in the first place?) has been a reliable haunt that we will visit again...I promise.

Even travelling in the US with you is an adventure. Some of my favorite places are places I ahve experienced with you. The beach or Phoenix or Colorado or California. I'd go anywhere as long as I knew that you were going with me.

#17 - Moving To the Far East Together

You must love me.

You were willing to pick up your life and family and move them from Texas to Atlanta. I know it's not the Far East, but when you've always lived in Texas, it sure can feel like it.

This has been a grand adventure, sharing life in an unfamiliar place. But I know it has been hard at times. I know that you see God in big and small ways so you know we are in His will. But it doesn't always make it easy.

After we moved here, you said that God reminded you of something from His word: "How lovely is your dwelling place, oh Lord God Almighty." He reminded you that wherever He is...THAT is your home. You even painted it on our kitchen wall. So I know you believe it.

But I want you to know that, for me, home is wherever God calls us and that you go with me. I can't imagine doing life without you by my side. In contrast, I feel like I could do life absolutely anywhere as long as you were there.

So, while I recognize that any move AWAY from Texas can't be seen as a good thing by any card-carrying Texan, I see it as a wonderful thing because we got to come here together.

#18 - Madeline Kate

What can I say about this little blessing? Words can't express what she has brought to our lives. But not because Maddie is this perfect little angel. In fact, she is a little toot on more days than not.

But God has brought tremendous things to our lives through her mainly because of His activity in our lives that brought her about. As with all of our children, God used her as the means to grow our character and to increase our faith in Him. He used her to show us that radical joy comes from radical obedience. For that reason alone, her life is a highlight of these past twenty years.

What is exciting is that, while our first four kids had significant impact on the first twenty years of our lives, Maddie Kate will be impacting our lives for almost the next twenty. More kids...more joy. Yeah, the world thinks we are nuts, but I'm completely okay with that.

#19 - Being Partners in Ministry

Over the past six or seven years, it has been a real Highlight to get to do more ministry together. With my role at Johnson Ferry, your unofficial role as helpmate in the work has been even more wonderful.

Working together has given us many unique opportunities to pass on truth to others. And nothing energizes me more. It is one of the key things that make doing Kingdom work fun.

Granted, ministering together has it's pitfalls, as well. I can think of nothing else in our twenty years that has amplified our differences more. You want to plan. I'm fine with "going with the flow." Somewhere in the middle is a happy medium.

Perhaps that's why ministering together has grown us in our marriage. We have been forced to deal with our differences and learn to work through them with grace and love. Beyond that, having you by my side in ministry is one of my greatest joys. So it benefits us at several different levels.

I cannot wait to see what God will do in and through us as we continue to make ourselves available to Him. You're going to make an awesome little old lady in an RV, traveling around and coaching pastor's wives on how to be patient with the old coot. You'll know...you will have been married to this old coot for 5o years or more.

#20 - Crossing (and Surviving) the BIG 4-0 Milestone

This is last and perhaps the most recent Highlight of the past 20 years. We both made it past our 40th birthday without freaking out in some significant way.

While this may seem silly, you and I both know that it is huge.

We have seen a troubling number of our peers hit mid-life and go absolutely nuts. They decide they hate their spouse, they don't want to parent their kids, and they want a new career. The power of this mid-life crisis thing is huge and we, by and large, dodged that bullet.

Granted, I have watched the "hair club for men" commercials a little bit closer. And I know that you sometimes feel the urge to run away from our fighting kids and come back at a date and time to be determined later. But, for the most part, we have climbed "the hill" and have lived to tell.

I'm looking forward to the second half of life being even more rich than the first half. If it features even a portion of the joy, memories, and love that I have been able to share with you in the first half, then I think we're going to be quite satisfied. Quite satisfied indeed.

#21 - BONUS Highlight - Anticipating What's Next

I have no idea what tomorrow has in store for us. I cannot predict the challenges or obstacles we will have to overcome. I cannot measure the moments of joy and milestones of God's goodness. Who knows what is to come.

But I know that I look forward to tomorrow with giddy anticipation. Because I know that I will get to live another day with you. And that, so many more times than not, is going to be a wonderful day.

May God grant us the same rich blessings in our future that He has blessed us with for the first twenty years of our marriage. And during those "dark night of the soul" seasons, may He remind us that He is walking out life with us. And that He has given us each other as gifts to walk with.

You are a tangible picture of Christ in my life. My "Holy Spirit in a Dress." I thank God for you daily. And I can't wait for tomorrow.

Happy 20th Anniversary, my love!